A Date for the Class Clown


The Lonely Comedian

For those who appear popular when they are being funny, life is often a lonely journey. They usually have their own reasons for turning everything into a joke, and their humor can bite the people they most want in their life. Rather than work at resolving their own issues, they tend to work harder at making a splash around others. This behavior works well when they are with others, but they find they are the lonely comedian when it is time to go home for the night.

Getting close to other people entails trusting them, and those who prefer to approach life comically often find that others are not willing to be with them. Being the butt of a joke in public is bad enough, but many people are afraid they will be subjected to constant ridicule if they are in a relationship with this type of person. Instead of bringing others closer to them, the comedian is actually pushing them away.

Relationships are about many things, but feeling safe with the other person is an important factor. It is not a joke when personal mannerisms or needs are made fun of, and it is even worse when the person who does it is a significant other. Both partners must feel they can be open with each other without the pain of being laughed at or the relationship will never work. This is just one of the reasons why comedians in public find they are alone in private.

Learning to separate public and private behavior is often an obstacle for those who feel the need to be funny in a crowd, but they will not be able to sustain good personal relationships if they do not learn. They will find that word of how they tease in private will get around, and there will be few people willing to date them.